Epitome of chaos

Back and forth, back and forth,

the thoughts in her head go.

Back and forth, like an unbalanced chair,

Compelling her to think, over and over again.

They say the grass is greener on the other side.

Reality says, it isn't.

Things in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Geddit?

Too many things scattered in the head,

Running around like mice in a pantry full of food,

Atleast the mice can have fun, 

Without worrying about calories, cholesterol and the other 'c's of life.

They say, life is short, work hard party harder.

But why try so hard, to do everything harder?

Life is short, so relax,

Laugh, get drunk, sleep for over 12 hours on weekends.

Note to self: don't overanalyze.

Note number two to self: don't confuse yourself.

And if the sticky notepad is not over yet,

Note number three to self: don't confuse others. 

PS: There's too much chaos in the head, my head, your head, so don't try to get the meaning out of this post. If you still are trying to decode it, read note number one to self, again.


~C

Choices...

In the walk of life, sometimes you come across crossroads.

There are no directions that show you the right way.

It’s that time of the day, when google maps won’t help either.

You have to make the choice, which route you want to take.

And that’s when; you follow your gut.

Maybe you’ll lose your way; maybe you’ll wander for a bit,

But in the end, you will reach your target; you will hoist your flag.

Don’t be afraid of getting lost, don’t be afraid of stumbling.

Losers are not really losers,

Falling is acceptable, not getting back on your feet isn’t.

Failing is acceptable, not trying isn’t.

“I need to find my way out of this and I will.

There’s nothing to be afraid of, my road sense has never been great.

I have tripped, lurched and bruised myself.

But at the end of the tunnel, there’s light.

I need to find my way out of this.

And I will, I will.”

~C

The Demon Calls...

Closer she went to the pane,

Eyes with fright, hands trembling,

She threw the windows open,

A silent wind slithered through her hair.

Someone humming a wobbly tune,

But no one could she see.

Boom! It swiftly hit her head,

And on the floor, she was left to be.


~C

Letter To An Older Me....

Dear Older Me,

When you look back at your life from where you stand now, you feel happy and crazy to do everything you did then. You are still not afraid of taking risks. You still love fighting, especially for your rights. You're more confident, more successful and more content with how your life is.

You are now more stable, emotionally and mentally. You can handle things better. Hopefully you cry less, dance more and can handle alcohol better. You hate nobody and have atleast 2x times the friends you did then. You still love Maggi and Coffee.

You are now a proud owner of a car, a wardrobe full of belts, bags and shoes. And also those Jimmy Choo's! You still  love yourself as much as you did, infact even more!

Hopefully, you're more sensible yet unpredictable, more mature yet childlike, more content yet competitive, more organized yet messy and more loved.

Even if you're not all of the above, remember, you were and you still are the best!

Lots of love,
Younger Me!

Let go...

Sometimes when you’re lost, you need that one thing to show you directions. When you can’t find your way out of a dense maze, you need that one beam of light. Most of us feel like that all the time, so do I. This is not an attempt to pass on any learning or gyaan to people around me, I’m sure you get that all the time. It’s just a little bit of sharing and a little bit of venting. I recently discovered that the directions I look for, more often than not, only I can figure out. The beam of light that I need, frequently, comes from within and not anywhere outside. 

I believe in myself, I believe that my life will steer the side I want it to. Nobody has control over how I feel, the more I feel sorry for myself; the more miserable I will be. The more I encourage myself, the more self-motivated I will be. There’s no point in holding anybody else responsible for the happiness or grief you are facing, it’s neither the circumstance nor an individual, it’s by choice. Make your choice, be happy, be content, love unconditionally, dance, sing aloud, let go, cause trust me, you’re truly blessed with everything you have.

~C

The Rollercoaster Ride!

It’s funny when you get really close to some people around you in no time and you know that once you are out of sight, you might even be out of their minds. It’s ironical, when you think about your life without them and it feels weird, because you’re so used to seeing them every day, or rather every weekday, even though it’s not for a really long time span. But I’ve been fortunate enough to meet some special people like that in a few phases of my life, like this one.  

When I first walked into burrp!, the people around me included one long-time friend and a million other strangers. Today, when I’m all set to walk out, I can proudly say that I have turned atleast a few of those million strangers into really good friends and some moments spent with them into life time memories. From singing meaningless songs to making up rural nicknames, this was the weirdest lot of people I have come across (even though I fitted in perfectly). And now when I’m leaving I’m happy to have worked in a place filled with ‘wackos’ (as Ro would put it) and I’m going to miss each one of them, immensely! :(

Love,

Me!

Breakthrough

Locked inside a room where no one could see her
She embraced herself to feel warmer than she was.
He wanted to come to her rescue
But he didn’t know how.

She tried to reach out to the door
To knock really hard, to call out to him
But a compelling force, kept her from doing so
She just couldn’t proceed.

He, on the other side of the door,
Tried to kick it open
But an invisible obstacle kept him from doing so
He just couldn’t succeed.

She tried to scream,
But the voice wouldn’t come out
She tried to rub herself warm
But the coldness wouldn’t condense

He tried to call out to her
But his voice wouldn’t pass through
He tried to make her feel secure
But he knew it wasn’t happening

They had to leap over this hurdle
To get to each other,
And they will,
Cause they have the powerful weapon

The weapon of love
That will break through every barrier
That will erase out all the boundaries
And they will live, happily ever after.

2 to 22

The countdown began
At 60 days to go.
Closed on the 4th of August,
Nothing could stop me
From being keyed up
Not lukewarm friends
Not the-fed-up family
Nothing in the world

But then, I turned 21.
Adulthood jinxed my excitement
Yes that was a full stop
No more countdowns.
No more animation
Only despair
Blah!

Hopefully, not.
I’m two days away from 22.
Please inject in some thrill
Calling out for help.
SOS!

Unbreakable

A damsel in distress

She really was

Anxious, restless, fretful

Confused, uncertain, doubtful

She could never be sure

Of what she really wanted

The directions were never clear

The road was never smooth

She got affected

By every inch of negativity

Around her, Within her

All she did was, cry.

Until this one day

That she decided

To be happy.

Period.

No one can help you

It’s just you,

Who decides your fate

Your happiness, your potential

If you decide to be happy

You will

If you decide to whimper

You will

No one can change you

It’s just you

Who decides what you want

And what you deserve

If you decide to brawl

You will

If you decide to pacify

You will

And then she decided

To do just that

Stay happy with herself

For herself

So no matter how hard you try

To alarm her

It doesn’t matter.

She doesn’t care.

She has made her choice

To stay happy

Stay unaffected

Stay unbreakable.

Seeking Exit

 

She walks and walks
And then everything’s dark
It’s a deep dark tunnel
With nothing good about it

The road is clear
But she trips
Over and over again
No ruts, no hitches

Tears rolling down
A lump in her throat
There’s no one around her
Nobody but the eerie murk

She feels sore
She feels disconnected
From the world, from everyone
From herself

She hates it
No one to talk to
No one to embrace
She likes being alone, not

Until she hears a voice
“There’s light ahead my dear
Only if you manage to cross this
Ur not alone!”

She looks around
But no one
She feels a force
A force around her

Compelling her to fight
Fight against the gloom
She was alone
But not unaccompanied

She will battle
Against this fiery monster
She walks and walks
And it’s still dark

What Women Want?

What women want?

A tight hug
A coffee mug
A bed to snug

A diamond ring
A caring king
A song to sing

A black dress
A pet to caress
No more stress


What women want?

Dark chocolate
A girl mate
A perfect date!

Her fairy tale
A shopping sale
A funny mail

A slumber night
A future bright
A friend who’d fight

What women want?

A perfect kiss
A friend to miss
Dessert bliss

Stilettos
A red rose
A love dose

An all time bag
Boy minus brag
A beauty tag

What women want?

A deal to gain
A walk in the rain
Love without pain

Too Late? Too Bad!

Its funny how we grow up listening to one group of people always whine around us, “Live with it, People change” and another group that says, “True Friends are forever, in the worst times as well”. I believed it until I discovered a theory of my own.

I don’t think people change, probably they were always the same but your perception has changed. Probably someone always told you how bad he was, but you were absolutely blinded and worshipped him blindly until a day arrived when there was no turning back. You’ve had enough of it and you say to yourself, “People do change, can’t believe he did this to me”.

“Friends are there in the worst times, but who says I need them only when I’ve had a break up, or when I’ve squabbled at home.” There are times when we wonder, “It’s such a big day in my life, such an important moment, and my friend who I thought cared isn’t there?” And maybe what that friend may assume is, “Oh she’s happy, so I’m happy! What more does she want?”

And by the time we realize that, probably it’s too late, perceptions have altered, friends have flawed, the dead end has arrived in port but people around you still persist, “Live with it!”

City Caretakers!

Mumbai is divided with two categories of people - one that think about the city and are worried about it and the other that think about the city, are worried about it and are doing something to protect it. Now here's the irony that I came across today...

Every day on my journey to office I pass the Mahim church road... Today when I got into the bus, it was fortunately not crammed, guess I was lucky enough. I swooped onto the window seat. YEYY! Just as I was admiring the gorgeous unsoiled roads of Mumbai, *cough (sarcasm)*, I happened to see the walls filled with the names of some local Romeos and Juliets. And the ever famous ‘do not spit here’ sign festooned with pan pichkaris. I wasn’t surprised at all.. What surprised me was the next wall, which had some really amazing words inscribed or to be frank scribbled with chalk! "Global warming is drying the lakes. Be prepared for 50% water cut. Don't waste water. Reduce, recycle reuse."

Wow! What a thought, and the last thing they could’ve done is to destroy another public property to pass on the wonderful social message!

The discovery of the third category of people, VOILA! They think about the city, worry about it and smash up the city in some other way to get their point across. Keep it up guys!

Success?

Success they say, is the way you perceive it to be… But I still don’t get the hang of it!? Cuz there are scores of times when I feel successful…

When somebody who once looked down upon me… calls me for help,
When I go to my favorite store to shop without a second thought,
I feel successful.

When I come home and lay that cheque into my mum’s palm,
When my dad points out to me and says “That’s my daughter!”
Yeah, I feel successful.

When the one I adore tells me how much he’s proud of me…
When my friends tell me how much they love me…
I feel successful.

So that’s my perception, I don’t know how far I’m from success for the world,
But in my opinion, I’ve triumphed! Cuz the more you run after success, the farther it seems, the instant you believe you’ve got it, trust me it’ll sustain!

A Ray of Hope..

Miles away… she says.. He flew away..
The memories still lay beneath... she closes her eyes and imagines him…
Miles away… she thinks… you flew away…
She goes right in and sits where usually... they sat…
She closes her eyes and imagines him right there right besides her…
Miles away… she asks her god… why did he fly away?

She walks the lane, she crosses the road, she looks right there..
"He used to wait for me there…" she says to herself
She imagines him there… just a silhouette…
She runs up to him and tells him…
"Miles away… we were apart… I missed you…
why did u have to fly away?"

He smiles... he embraces her…
Like he always did…
He holds her closer and whispers…
"Miles away… I did fly away… But I’m still here… right here with you…
In your heart… On your mind…
Just a moment away…
Just a thought away…"

yea... vr the teens!!

These are our Teenage Years...
The Best Dayz Of Our Lives (dun wana get older)

*BiG DREAMZ ... STUPiD FiGHTS*
*SLEEPY DAYZ ... ENDLESS NiGHTS*
*BROKEN HEARTS ... MASCARA TEARS*
*MOBiLE BiLLS & CREDiT CARD FEARS*
*CLOTHES TOO TiGHT ... SHOES TOO HiGH*
*OUT PAST CURFEW ... ANOTHER LiE*
*EYESHADOW COLOUR ... MiDNiGHT BLACK*
*LiPGLOSS FLAVOUR ... CHERRY ATTACK*
*LUViN THE STARS ... BOYS WiTH CARS*
*JEWLERRY & RiNGS ... FASHiON & THiNGS*
*DESiGNER NAMES ... DRiNKiN GAMEZ*

THAT iS A TASTE OF THE TEENAGE YEARS...
WHEN PROBLEMS ARE TOO BiG FOR TEARS........

jus 1 moment... means soo mch!!

In one moment,
u cn tel sumone hw mch u love dem...
without eva sayin nythin...
4 dat one moment,
u feel safe, secure,nd happy in deir arms.
4 dat one moment,
u dun think bout all the hard times in ur life...
all u think bout is dat,
tis person dat u r embracin...
4 dat one moment,
loves u as much as u love dem...
u jus take a deep breath nd hold it in u,
tryin 2 tk in evrythin u feel,
while u re hugging dis person,
who says dey care bout u more dan nythin...
bt only 4 dat one moment....
do u feel dis way,
der r a million oda moments dat,
u feel d exact opposite;
lonely, insecure, nd....
doubtful ov evrythin in life....

They call her sleepin beauty... bt dun let her sleeeeep!!

yes dats absolutely ryt!!
dun get 2 sleeeeep at all!!
teens dn lisen 2 deir parents... watch tv til late... nd dis addiction called d internet... wuf! y wud ne1 want 2 hit d sack early... oh nd hw cn i 4get d oxygen of evry teenager... MObILE fOne!!
nuin 2 do.. les text sm1... nt sleepy... lets js call sm1... its js 50 paise yaa..
datss xactly wtt i do...
nd ders dis weird aunty in my neighbourhood... whu wakes up at 5 in d mrnin... hw on earthh!! dats my midnyt!!
i sleep at 3 sm1 plz mk her undrstnd.. plz ask her 2 stop singin evry mrnin!!
get up at 7 2 go 2 dis place called college...
frnkly dats 1 place i hat goin 2!! cuz its sooo borinnnnnnn!!
d profs seem 2 hv cm frm sm vernaculer medium skool... keep yellin all d tym... wt r u guys tryin 2 do?? wake us up?? get us outta our dreamss!! all i gotta say is keep tryinn!!
nahh im nt bein rude... rememba ur days guyss!!!!!
nd den if u try 2 sleep in d afternoon der hs 2 b sm urgent wrk dat wil hv2 cum up evry bloody afternoon..
project.... play pracs... or maybe ur bst frn fot wit her bf!!
nd u js feel lik sayin gudnyt 2 all dese ppl bt d wrld keeps sayin KUK DOO KUU!!